Making Time for YOU

I'm sorry what? As a mom, it's okay to have time for yourself, and I should not feel guilty about it? At first those two concepts could not co-exist in my life. Good mom = spending all your time with your child and loving every minute of it. Well that's just impossible to obtain. That standard is guaranteed to set you up for failure. I had to realize that the phrase "happy mom = happy family" is very true. It took me a while to get there. When I started taking time for myself to get away, I became a better mom. Only when our whole-selves are complete can we give fully to others. As a complete person we can help our children be complete. We teach them that taking time for yourself is important. They grow up learning to value themselves and to make time to care for themselves.

For me, I learned to carve out time to get a pedicure, massage or just go to the store. I allowed myself to go out after work with friends and minimize the guilt. I found that when I did these things I was renewed. I had more patience with my daughter which actually helped our relationship to thrive. When I saw this correlation I was slowly able to push the mom guilt aside.

Often times we know theoretically it's good for us to take time for ourselves, but we have a hard time actually committing and riding those guilty thoughts. I am lucky that I have a wonderfully supportive husband who gives me this time, who encourages me to do things for myself. He helps me not to feel guilty and even pushes me to do things for myself. His love and support make it possible. Even if you don't have a husband, pick a friend or loved one that supports and encourages self-care. 

At this point some may be thinking, "I know all these things, but I don't know if I can do it," or "I feel guilty." Just start simple. Take time to walk around the block. Take a long shower and time to actually get ready. Let your spouse take over bedtime. Make a standing appointment with another mom or friend who needs the same thing. Investing others in our endeavors keeps us accountable. Whatever you do, just make it something for just you, something that you enjoy. All it takes is the first step. 

My next step is finding consistent time for myself to exercise. This has been a constant battle for me, especially during the workweek. Work eats up much of my time, and any additional free time during the week I usually dedicate to my daughter. I've gotten on exercise kicks here and there but it's been a struggle to make it a constant in my life in motherhood. I was so great at it pre-child and throughout pregnancy. The struggle is real people. 

Here's to forgiving ourselves and moving forward. Take this season to fall in love with 'me' time and do something to feed your soul. We are all deserving of self-love.