Gratitude

Gratitude. 
Seasonally appropriate no? 
It's that time of the year again when we often take inventory of our lives and the year. We also are given the title of THANKS-GIVING, to give thanks.

The ironic part is often our 'to-do' list around the holiday clouds the real intent of the holiday-apart from that minute we take to post on our Facebook all the things we are thankful for. Then we go back to rushing around to clean the house, cook the foods, feed and dress the kids, wake up early to black Friday shop and sometimes collapse in exhaustion for all the things we are trying to accomplish. Are we really taking that time to give thanks when we try to do it all? And what about the shelter we were going to visit or food we were going to donate-is that getting done too?

I by no means am an expert, but it is a concept I have been thinking about. People don't intend to focus on things other than the meaning of the holiday itself, this present day just makes it more difficult to do so. While we try to do IT ALL we often loose focus. I am very guilty of this.

My parents are divorced. The holidays, especially when I was younger, became more of a complex algorithm of the best strategy to divide my time among all my families, getting married AND then having a child made it even more complicated. I had my immediate dad's family, dad's extended family, mom's family, step dad's family, husband's family all wanting us to join their celebrations. What having a child did give me, was some clarity around intention and living in the moment. When I was so focused on doing everything and being everywhere the very purpose of the holiday was being lost. I wanted to please others and keep to a schedule, I found myself focusing on what we had to do NEXT, rather than enjoy the moment with our loved ones.

But most of all I am looking for a renewed focus on the real purpose of the day. As my daughter grows up I intend to start introducing a service aspect to the holiday; teaching her the importance of doing for others and taking care of the community of people who aren't in a position to care for themselves. I distinctively remember the times I did this in school and with my family. In many ways it shaped who I am today.

In school we would cook for the chicken soup brigade, adopt a family during a holiday and champion food drives.  One year before Christmas my dad took me with him on a simple expedition. He and the school he worked for volunteered to drive their buses and pick up
people from various shelters around town and take them to a church for a holiday dinner and gifts. We sat and had a meal with them. The gratitude they had for this simple gesture was inspiring. There were also many children there who received gifts. Their joy was infectious. I cried. It put my own life into perspective and the need their is in the world to do for others.

In high school my dad took on a second job during the holidays so we could have presents. As a teacher at a private school, he didn't earn much. He wanted to give us a Christmas. I would drive him to UPS after school and pick him up late at night. I saw him exhausted and chilled to the bone. I tried to tell him that he didn't need to put himself through that to give us gifts, and he did anyway. What I gained from that experience has stayed with me for a lifetime. The lessons he gave me are invaluable gifts that can only be received by living that experience. They are the things I give the most Thanks for, and they are the invaluable treasures of my childhood I hope to pass on to my own daughter. May you find your own gratitude this season and spread that joy with others.